By Tosin Oyekoya
“It’s
hard to explain,” says Maria. “My husband has been in prison for so long, but
in a way it’s gone by in the blink of an eye. When you make the decision to
stay together, you learn to live this way.”
Every
year, millions of people arrange special dates and purchase heartfelt gifts for
their loved ones for Valentine’s Day. While that is going on, there are
millions who are miserable around this time of the year. Not particularly
because they are single or feel lonely, but because their significant other is
incarcerated.
While
the average person may not think about how people “on the inside” celebrate –
or don’t celebrate – holidays like Valentine’s Day or Christmas, several
advocacy organizations are quite aware and make efforts for families to reach
out to their loved ones during special times. Families Against Mandatory
Minimums (FAMM), a nonprofit membership organization working for fair and proportionate
sentencing laws, is one of them. Four Massachusetts FAMM members shared special
messages that help remind society of the power of love and family. Maria was
one of the members, and so is Perla. Perla’s husband is serving the first year
of a 10-year sentence.
“There was never any question that we’d stay married,” wrote Perla. “We’ve been together for eight years and he is a good husband and father.” Read the full length articles on FAMM’s website.
“There was never any question that we’d stay married,” wrote Perla. “We’ve been together for eight years and he is a good husband and father.” Read the full length articles on FAMM’s website.
Another
organization,
Campaign for Youth Justice, has a special advocacy campaign
right now calling for donations for kids in adult prisons. More than 10,000
kids will spend this Valentine’s Day in an adult jail or prison, often in
solitary confinement where they cannot communicate with others, let alone their
loved ones. The Campaign for Youth Justice wants people to show support for these
young people by making a donation to their “prisoner correspondence project.”
This project works to ensure that no child is forgotten this Valentine’s Day.
The donation will go directly towards supporting their correspondence with
incarcerated youth. Donations will provide several items for youth such as
stamps for Valentine’s Day cards, greeting cards and envelopes. A $100 donation
will allow for all three items to be provided, in addition to allowing a youth
to send a card in return.
Prison
Talk is one of a few groups that talk about gift exchanging with incarcerated
significant others on holidays.
Sylvia
Payne, an independent writer for Helium, says “Valentines Day is the perfect
occasion to get creative. No matter how tough your loved one is, they will
appreciate one or more of the following ideas while they are in jail or
prison.” On the website Helium,
Payne gives some Valentine’s Day tips
and ideas.
Numerous
people are curious as to why these significant others stay in these
relationships and marriages knowing there will be difficulties. Renae, who
shared her story with FAMM sums it up perfectly. “There’s something special
about him. He lets me in to a place that no one else has seen before. When you
communicate like we do, it goes beyond a physical relationship. It’s so much
deeper than that. I realized that my life didn’t feel complete without him.” Renae
also reminds us that those who are committed to their marriages under such
circumstances are remarkable. “Not everyone is cut out for this. It’s a very personal decision. But for those
of us who do the time with the men we love, we’re a special group.”
The
Eastern State Penitentiary, in Philadelphia, PA is giving an all day Valentine’s
Day Love Stories tour today through Sunday, February 17. This tour will
incorporate the true stories of love behind the walls of Eastern State
Penitentiary. This one-hour tour consists of showing visitors the cells of
inmate Elizabeth Velora Elwell who had secret
meetings in a cold cellar and wrote love letters to inmate Albert Green
Jackson in 1862. This tour will also shed light into the cell of inmate Sydney
Ware, who served life in prison for murder, and married Ella M. Hershey, a
society woman who helped secure his pardon in 1913. The tickets are available for
purchase.
The tour is not recommended for children under the age of seven.
Click
here for more Prison News Blog testimonies.Click
here
for more stories on being married while incarcerated.
Tosin Oyekoya is JPI's communications intern.
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